How to be a Fox News Anchor, Part Deux

Today a goodish part of the school began the University for Peace Model United Nations Conference, or UPMUNC.  I’ve always thought these things would have to be pretty lame, like the UN, or models, or conferences.

They are not.  Our media team worked our asses off and had a blast, thank god for the slave driving Rosie and editorialastic-bombastic-fantastic Katelyn to keep everything going.  I got to make a fool of myself for most of the day, and subsequently meet the British ambassador and a fellow Post-Westphalian Optimist (though… I don’t know if I got her name… or the ambassador’s name for that matter.  I’ll just call them Mabel and Gussy, for now.)

You can read the script for the intro video in the preceding post… playing Cogney T. D’Sonans I think I understand a small part of how Heath Ledger felt playing the joker, and have a new found appreciation for Stephen Colbert.  Channeling that much ignorance, arrogance and idiocy… it’s extremely exhausting.  I nearly broke into tears when I took my first gulp of Guinness upon arriving home, seriously.

Here are a few excerpts from the interviews today, paraphrased for brevity; everything we did today was 99% improvised.


Cogney, regarding accusations of human rights violations by the Honduran interim government of Michelletti: Yeah, but allegedly the ousted president, Zelaya, was trying to become president for life.  Do you think he wouldn’t have committed human rights abuses?

Dora, the interviewee, responds by completely decimating and disproving my weak and misinformed argument, using a lot of sophisticated logic and complex language.

Me, blinking: there you have it folks, the accused perpetrators of human rights violations saved Honduras from a nightmarish communist takeover.


Cogney, to the Australian delegate on the UN Environmental Programme, regarding action on climate change: “Climate change… great lie?  Or GREATEST lie?”
Cogney, writing for Chrysti for an interview with the delegate from the Maldives, a country which is about to sink into the ocean as a direct result from global warming…
“Okay, so hypothetically assuming that climate change could be real… why would you guys live in such a dangerous place??”

It’s a little disturbing, but some part of me is actually looking forward to becoming Cogney again tomorrow.  I imagine it’s the same way Charles Manson felt before attempting to start a worldwide race-war, or that Niccolo Machiavelli felt every time he resumed writing the Prince.  I’m just lucky to have so many incredible friends who won’t let me give into those demons of ignorance, arrogance, and complete detachment from reality.

Love in Neil Kavuto.  Pura vida.

Published in: on 24 February 2010 at 8:01 pm  Leave a Comment  

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