UPMUNC Fox Intro Script

Voice of Robby: Your voice, fair and balanced: THIS is Fox News.

Katelyn: I’m Chrysti Kirsty, and with me as always is Cogney T. D’Sonans.  Bringing you up to date fair and balanced coverage of this meeting of the global community.  (How’re you doing this evening Cogney?  >> Dandy fine as always, Chrysti.)

Jared: That’s right; we’re filming live from the United Nations conference in El Rodeo Costa Rica, to see if this time they will actually get something done.  (What do you think the chances of that are, Chrysti?  >> Slim to none, Cogney.)

This conference will discuss an investigation into human rights violations in the wake of the June 28th Honduran coup and the violent and divisive aftermath, this conference will discuss an investigation into human rights violations.  We’ll find out what’s happening, and tell you what this might mean for America.  (Thank God we don’t have human rights violations in America, hey Chrysti?  >> It’s a terrible situation, I thank God every day we don’t have this kind of thing here Cogney.  >>  Well, we are above it.)

Katelyn: Then, the international spotlight will move to the situation of migrant workers worldwide, and their “exploitation”.  Will this crusade for the freedoms of invasive workers from the South be a major blow in the fight against illegal immigrants?  We’ll get to the bottom of this issue, and what it means for you.

Jared: Finally, the socialist climate change conspiracy gets back on the global stage.  Following the Copenhagen summit last December, alarmist rhetoric of crisis and catastrophe rings loudly in the air.

Katelyn: What does this mean for America?  Taxes, taxes, taxes.  If this conference results in real action you can expect the recession crunch to tighten further still.  We’ll investigate the ins and outs of this issue and what it means for you and your family.

Jared: We’ll be back soon with extensive, fair and balanced coverage of this United Nations conference.

Published in: on 24 February 2010 at 7:39 pm  Leave a Comment  

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